If you’re planning to go for a walk –- and I strongly advise against this –- you might want to keep your eyes up. You never know what might fall on you: apples, frogs, Russian space crafts. Yes, it’s a dangerous world out there and the best thing you can do is stay indoors. If you absolutely have to go outside, follow my example and say a prayer: “Dear God, if you must drop something on my head, let it be hair. My bald spot isn’t getting any smaller.