Last updated on February 7, 2012
Posted 10:05 a.m., April 16, 2007: Just heard on Fox News that there’s been a shooting at Virginia Tech. Dozens of people have been shot and at least two have been killed. This is the kind of terrorist attack I’ve been warning everyone about since 9/11. I’m sure the liberal media isn’t reporting this, but there are a number of Muslims at Virginia Tech, most of them posing as students. I’m not saying that one of them may have carried out this attack – I’m saying that several of them may have. This is why I blog – to get the truth out.
Posted 11:35 a.m., April 16, 2007: This attack is worse than I thought. The death toll is now 22! The attack happened in two places on campus, which proves that several Muslims were involved. This was a well-planned attack, probably carried out by terrorists from Iraq, Pakistan and other Arab countries. Osama is celebrating somewhere, I’m sure, throwing a big party in his cave. This is why we’re fighting the war in Iraq. If we can kill them over there, they won’t be able to kill us over here. The anti-war idiots are morons. This is why I blog – to get the truth out.
Posted 12:44 p.m., April 16, 2007: The death toll has reached 33! It’s the worst shooting rampage in American history. Some liberals are saying that America needs more gun control. Baloney! What America needs is MORE GUNS. If the victims had guns, they could have defended themselves. They could have shot back at the terrorists. All students should have the right to carry guns on campus (except the Muslim ones, of course). It’s time we had some real gun reform in America. President Bush needs to make guns and ammo fully tax deductible. He needs to arm every American against the terrorists. Even 5-year-olds can learn how to use guns. Let’s make our kindergartens safer! This is why I blog – to get the truth out.
Posted 3:22 p.m., April 16, 2007: Some media outlets are reporting that the gunman was a young Asian man. I’ve also learned, with help from Wikipedia, that Pakistan is an Asian country! So I was right after all. This attack was carried out by a Muslim from Pakistan. President Bush needs to take swift action against the Pakistanians. Bomb them until they accept democracy. The president also needs to close our borders. We don’t need foreigners coming here, not even those Canadanians. Tell them to build their own Disney World. This is why I blog – to get the truth out.
Posted 9:13 p.m., April 16, 2007: One of the Chicago papers is reporting that the gunman was a foreign student from China. I checked Wikipedia and confirmed my suspicion: China is an Asian country! Wikipedia also says there are 20 million Muslims in China! So I was right after all. This attack was carried out by a Muslim from China. President Bush needs to take swift action against the Chinians. Bomb them until they accept democracy. The president also needs to order background checks on all foreign students, especially the ones from other countries. This is why I blog – to get the truth out.
Posted 9:06 a.m., April 17, 2007: Fox News is reporting that the gunman was an Asian student, a permanent resident from South Korea. I knelt in front of the TV and said, “Please God, let him be a Muslim. If he is a Muslim, I will have so much to write about.” But Fox News let me down. They didn’t say anything about his religion. Dear God, I hope he wasn’t a Christian. I searched the Internet and all I found out was that he was young, slim and quiet, a very troubled man. It looks like he was not Muslim – but he was slim, so I was half-right! This is why I blog – to get the truth out.